New Beginnings Therapy
Dr. Madalina A. I. Day
The Daily Morning:
Positive Affirmations and "Me time" - why are important…
Many years ago, in fact almost couple of decades, a good friend and a mentor as such , suggested that I read a book called “the Wonder Box: Curious histories of how to live” by Roman Krznaric.
A wonderful read for which there one has to make an opinion on for themselves. Acknowledging kindness in suggesting an interesting read, such a gesture on part of my friend it also meant that our relationship was based on mutual respect, understanding each other and a clear recognised shared passion for reading. Such a passion is part of what I called “me time” – a time when all around is quiet (or not) and I can immerse myself in pages and pages of indefinite writings. I am still very much hooked on hardcopies and hardback paper reads.
Positive affirmations and “me time” are very much linked, and, in a previous article, published on Counselling Directory, it was mentioned as to how having a type of love/relationships such as philia in your life is important as a form of rescue factors, but also for maintaining mental wellbeing and healthy relationships with significant others through meaningful social interactions. Me time could be construed as a form of self-care, one carefully attending to their needs, passions, interests, taking time out of daily schedules and finding time to relax and calm a rapid paced life style. Reading is one such a way and that is suggested just to illustrate what it is meant by “me time” but and of course, me time means to each of us something different, only with a few similarities to some extent. Me time can also be categorised as another form of love, a form of self-love. Alongside philia, the Greeks identified another type of love, love that it’s called Philautia. This type of love of oneself, it is distinguished from Narcissus/ or a form of self-love that is perceived as selfish, with self-centred preoccupations of oneself.
Philautia is a positive form of self-love, based on a belief that one can extend love to others only when one is secured in herself/himself and loves herself/himself appreciatively and in realistic terms. Philautia as a form of love for oneself can be conceptualised as self-care and maturity/growth when one is balancing responsibilities and life demands with careful considerations. When I ask students mentees and clients about their weekly schedule, more often than not, there is always a surprise on their part when I mention “me time” and guide an allocation of space/time for reflection, self-love or simply a time for themselves, their interests/passions etc. Here, Philautia is used in context of one’s learning to appreciate their space, take time for themselves and lessen a belief that taking time out from a busy schedule means that one is less appreciative of task at hand. On the contrary, by making time for oneself during a busy schedule, one can become more productive, efficient - if that is what it's sought - and at the very least, strengthen a self-belief - not to overconfidence levels but to appreciative and positive resolve schedules; increasing a level of me time should not be seen as equal to a decrease in work time – because self is not simply a mathematical equation, but a lived experience where positive affirmations are a necessity of everyday life. Philautia can be seen as a type of love filed with positivity and awareness of one’s capacity for love, starting with an acknowledgement of need to love oneself.
Almost two decades ago, my friend shared her passion for reading with me, … I see it as a type of philautia and I am grateful for her suggestion,