New Beginnings Therapy
WHO THOUGHT IS A GOOD IDEA TO FUCK WITH ME?
The following is the excerpt initially published in March 2019
Example 1: Deputy District Judge Anne Aitken [email protected] dropped her pencil down and directed a question at me: "so what do you do Ms. (now DR) Day?" (Holborn Central Family Court January 2019)
"I'm a honorary staff counsellor working for an NHS trust" amongst other roles– I answered.
Deputy District Judge Anne Aitken non-curiously then assumed: “yes, but that is not a job in itself is it? – if it is honorary, you are not paid for it! ...And, as such, it does not count – that is not considered employment".
To all my accounts and within the totality of all my positions – which position in itself stands as an employment, too, but positively not convincing for DDJ Anne Aitken in trying to demean how I see myself or what I do as an actual fact, I was left with disbelief. As, by same reasoning follows that DDJ Anne Aitken is not much of a Judge on any, and all instances that does not involve her being actively present in her job, for instance if she is somehow asleep during such a conversation in High Court – because she certainly appeared to me asleep, rather than rude, arrogant, ill-mannered and quite stupid to out it plainly. But, maybe all such qualities are much required in her job and are indeed present within her rather then what may have appeared to me as outrageously stupid observation on her side, such opinion owed to my professional stance, non-judgmental nature, and eventually also to owed to my honorary position developed, too as an honorary staff psychotherapist for the NHS. Who knows?
Well, I do.
I must have looked pretty puzzled for fractions of seconds for reasons quite obvious to me, and clearly not obvious at all to DDJ Anne Aitken. It truly felt as one decided to answer a quiz on: “What is your most valuable asset?" and from possible answers:
1. Your brain; 2. How to use your brain; 3. When you are asleep;
Clearly if we are to interpret DDJ Anne Aitken’s assumption on possibilities of 1 to 3, DDJ clearly is not feeling much of a Judge at all on all instances especially when a). she is asleep and b). any other instances when she is potentially not thinking – as it may have seemed in making assumptions about what may feel to one as a valuable role depending on whether or not one is receiving an income. Definition of honorary involving a conduct and a professional way of being based on and achieved on multiple and various accomplished criteria, including a skill in assessing for dementia, and/or early signs of dementia - that being a true dementia state exhibited by DDJ Aitken behaviour during that instance and several of other moments. Also considering her retirement from her profession announced for November 2018 but continuing into 2019, if one is indeed using inference as a way of assessing a possibility, it looked even more so highly likely that a dementia diagnosis for DDJ Anne Aitken was highly present and probable at the time of discussion. Perhaps another assessment of that fact was long overdue, that being in my opinion, professional opinion, honorary and otherwise.
Some of the most encountered feelings experienced by atypical individuals or recognised as neurodiversity are feelings born out of lack of being understood in various instances and situations. Communication is key. In above example, there is a rhetoric about how a neurodiverse individual could experience and interpret such a communication. There is discrimination from the Judge at various levels and in many forms. A neurotypical individual would call to mind a form of harassment and bullying, but all in all there are in fact discrimination.
A barrister Katy Remsen from [email protected] seated next to me, elbows me with what appears a left wrist plastered- probably just before attending A&E another colleague decided she had enough, and I could clearly see as to why. Robust, mean looking and moment she opened her mouth, what came out sounded like a squeaking of an old shoe completely worn out and drenched: she is acutely observing her left – I – making notes on my phone and then ( I hope this is my imagination! ) she raises her only limb (fore) available (right hand) and addresses the Court:
“Madam! I believe Ms. Day (currently DR. Day) is recording as she is using her phone!”
I were, indeed, making notes on my phone for I did not carry my notebook that day – but to my bewilderment – this Barrister – name [email protected]– for the sake of not being able to focus on making notes on her laptop ( she looked really not focused…), she brings herself to a theatrical manner to “report” me for some form of misconduct during a rather (possibly not for her) intense session of deliberation; me thinking to myself: now I do understand Parliament and all political reporting, much much better!
Responding to the Katy, DDJ Aitken then turns to me and mutters some ineligible warning about not using a phone during such proceedings. I, then, calmly explain that, and like everyone present, I am taking notes on a device much like a laptop and my actual phone is turned on silent – albeit obviously failed on being silent given that person to my right ([email protected]) and half able (mentally and physically) become suddenly preoccupied with where and how I record my notes. Needless to say because Katy was so acutely incapable to monitor her need to pee (urinate) – for which I could clearly smell it next to me and/or because some other difficult to assess in the moment need, such as a capacity to sit still.
I was not sure if laughter with all my might felt adequate, but equally a sense of: this is so Shakespearean in parts, except that Shakespeare really had very intelligent and a genius mind at work!
I, watching the Judge and the Barrister performing, all I could see there were relics of stupidity at height so low down, that I could not be ask to locate it. Dungeon perhaps! And yet, there is something in that that I could identify: lack of coping and no control, resilience zero, power of adjusting and conduct negative. If I were to compare that behaviour with anything in natural world would be someone needing the toilet so badly, but being quite so unware of who they are, they would request a break from next to them person right or left - without a doubt they will not know either way – and indicate that they believe the person next to them are in need for a break. Another alternative is what is presently reported in the media: (https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/24/prescription-drug-addiction-government-launches-investigation) about an addiction to painkillers; given that Kathy’s left wrist was plastered, it is highly possible that the barrister was overdosed that morning or all mornings for that matter. Such a fact in itself, would have explained conduct, smell, actioned behaviour and the overall presence look. All the above are quite frightful possibilities and yet, there are all asserted by I as positively possible based on given what had happened, reportedly.
Moving on from this example with a moral: always explain to a person that you are sitting next to, that you are using a phone and do explain what a phone is – in case they may need to be told: use drawing, Latin, colour, sand and any other potential form of communication such as a gesture of dialing a number to emergency services and use both American and British numbers. Fire Fighters, too. Anything would be better than letting them in their distress and wonder. Also, offer them water. Alternatively, do draw a sign of toilet and exit and direct them to it with arrows. Or ask the Judge to accompany them and then ask the Barrister to bring the Judge back – just in case toilet need and dementia do work hand in hand – because in this instance it really did, truly. The Barrister needed the loo and the Judge could have done with a walk even if to the ladies - if a sign post back would have been in place or placed.
Laughter is a mature form of defense in what is experienced as a challenging situation. The above example, calls in an understanding in how communication and type of communication can and are experienced by a neurodiverse population. For some, particularly in ASD, sensory sensitivity and enhanced perception are key futures - that is different from hypervigilance in scanning an environment. Hypervigilance is a feature of several conditions including anxiety, PTSD etc. There is also a question over comorbidity, with most neurodiverse individuals experiencing mental health difficulty as secondary condition.
All in all, the above rhetoric illustrates a in difference* type of processing - a road map that is difficult to imagine and yet, much encountered in all my work with neurodiverse individuals. In above example, I take the stand and speak from that point of view. As a very fact I had experienced discrimination independently of all such added possibilities. The language used is a language of communication that is not perceived as kind or appropriate, but when is discrimination acceptable? The language is vulgar and tough because it overtly describes how discrimination and how a neurodiverse individual may indeed experience such a situation. Discrimination is a form of communication and how can one respond to that other than just illustrating how such a situation can also be perceived and detailed.
Example 3. Lead psychologist – not sure why he decided to show himself, but he did and by all mighty did he fail! https://www.ucl.ac.uk/psychoanalysis/people/lionel-bailey
Whenever I tried to direct a question, he would say how severely attacked he felt by my questions, he clearly forgot to read the manual/ protocol on writing reports – ethically and morally or justice like...–
His name Lionel Bailey – an enormity of nobody – clustered in a broken glass mirror of psychoanalytical perspectives, defunct and errored like a shampoo formula for growing hair – in this case wrongly used to grow a brain function or functions such as neurons for distinguishing right hemisphere decision making from left language prone hemisphere. Did I get that right, Mr. Lionel Bailey? Let me know when you grow some hair, but not on your balls! We have already introspected and decided that you have none of either! – Which, it's OK. Unfortunately, it is too late for that to happen in the near future and, if you insist, in seeking such a complex dynamic, we can conclude that you have no chance. If in any doubt contact us via booking form and use a pen name. Don’t write on your balls to be reminded though, it may cause distress in searching– or so I’ve heard, especially if a (black) marker is in use.
Again, the above and final example is a high illustration on potential responses to discrimination - in the moment - again the language is indelicate and suggestive and that is exactly how and what discrimination communicates.
When one experiences discrimination they very rarely turn their head around and think to themselves: well, this is not the first time and how can someone can be quite so ignorant. No, what is experienced are feelings of hurt with a complex dynamic and recognising a repetitive experience. Feelings of hurt is an understatement.
All above examples talk to an experience and this is how such experience can be described by both a neurodiverse individual and a typical individual:
After such experiences, I felt highly educated on an acute syndrome of lacking testicles coupled with defunct psychoanalytic rhymes, plastered and dozed barristers, witnessing stupidity ( inciting levels of Shakespearian laughter) from HM Judges and DDJ/s better seated on the loo - indefinitely that is - and watching out for toilet signs to not bump into the Judge whilst introspecting for hairless statements of crucial court experts.
But the above scenario is not a hopeless scenario after all, neither a “ much ado about nothing” script; In the end my endeavor proved fruitful in that I cycled to the Court and was able to deduct all expenses incurred at nearby café, through my private practice and specifically a workshop on stress control and how to achieve detachment from stressful events through compartmentalizing – having a good routine for last six years working in an honorary NHS setting. My consultancy experience had proved priceless –no pun intended!
In above script we are using a judge, law, justice system etc. to pinpoint potential neurosis to various angles and frustrations. Intolerance to stressful events and or decrease participation (sensory and otherwise) are possible responses across various conditions and also possible responses of any human being with or without a specific classification.
Stress control therapy is an integrative perspective or strictly a CBT protocol (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) that can successfully target traumatic memories, stress induced in various situations and it does that by addressing matters of onset, traumatic memories and perceived experiences or situational incidents. Albeit not visible in above story there are unconscious biases that one can identify and exclude from interpretation – there are no criteria left out - and all form a composite of events and are addressed in reverse order as to how it was delivered with I (Madalina Day) being the recipient.
My personal affirmation also delivered as stress control in the NHS settings is that of observance, acute self-awareness and decision making as to what is next.
Writing this it was my next for me, clearly traumatic memories at that time. What helped, was continuing applying theory in practice in all settings including the NHS for many months after that experience and in 2021 publishing a book about the NHS cases that I was working with as the above events were also happening.
My only regret is that I cannot change language used to this page and better describe discrimination and in kinder terms. I have concluded that there are absolutely none available. Discrimination is horrible, horrific and out of line of being compassionate and/or human for that matter. But humor is human. M.Day, 2022
Equality Act UK 2010
Equality Act UK 2010
Collapse -Part 1 Socio-economic inequalities
1.Public sector duty regarding socio-economic inequalities
2.Power to amend section 1
Collapse -Part 2 Equality: key concepts
Chapter 1 Protected characteristics
4.The protected characteristics
8.Marriage and civil partnership
10.Religion or belief
Chapter 2 Prohibited conduct
14.Combined discrimination: dual characteristics
15.Discrimination arising from disability
16.Gender reassignment discrimination: cases of absence from work
17.Pregnancy and maternity discrimination: non-work cases
18.Pregnancy and maternity discrimination: work cases
Adjustments for disabled persons
20.Duty to make adjustments
21.Failure to comply with duty
23.Comparison by reference to circumstances
24.Irrelevance of alleged discriminator's characteristics
25.References to particular strands of discrimination
Other prohibited conduct
Collapse -Part 3 Services and public functions
28.Application of this Part
Provision of services, etc.
29.Provision of services, etc.
30.Ships and hovercraft
31.Interpretation and exceptions
Collapse -Part 4 Premises
32.Application of this Part
Disposal and management
34.Permission for disposal
36.Leasehold and commonhold premises and common parts
37.Adjustments to common parts in Scotland
38.Interpretation and exceptions
Collapse -Part 5 Work
Chapter 1 Employment, etc.
39.Employees and applicants
40.Employees and applicants: harassment
42.Identity of employer
45.Limited liability partnerships
49.Personal offices: appointments, etc.
50.Public offices: appointments, etc.
51.Public offices: recommendations for appointments, etc.
52.Interpretation and exceptions
Local authority members
58.Official business of members
60.Enquiries about disability and health
Chapter 2 Occupational pension schemes
Chapter 3 Equality of terms
64.Relevant types of work
66.Sex equality clause
67.Sex equality rule
68.Sex equality rule: consequential alteration of schemes
69.Defence of material factor
70.Exclusion of sex discrimination provisions
71.Sex discrimination in relation to contractual pay
Pregnancy and maternity equality
72.Relevant types of work
73.Maternity equality clause
74.Maternity equality clause: pay
75.Maternity equality rule
76.Exclusion of pregnancy and maternity discrimination provisions
Disclosure of information
77.Discussions about pay
78.Gender pay gap information
80.Interpretation and exceptions
Chapter 4 Supplementary
81.Ships and hovercraft
83.Interpretation and exceptions
Collapse -Part 6 Education
Chapter 1 Schools
84.Application of this Chapter
85.Pupils: admission and treatment, etc.
86.Victimisation of pupils, etc. for conduct of parents, etc.
87.Application of enforcement powers under education legislation
88.Disabled pupils: accessibility
89.Interpretation and exceptions
Chapter 2 Further and higher education
90.Application of this Chapter
91.Students: admission and treatment, etc.
92.Further and higher education courses
93.Recreational or training facilities
94.Interpretation and exceptions
Chapter 3 General qualifications bodies
95.Application of this Chapter
Chapter 4 Miscellaneous
99.Educational charities and endowments
Collapse -Part 7 Associations
100.Application of this Part
101.Members and associates
103.Sections 101 and 102: further provision
Special provision for political parties
104.Selection of candidates
106.Information about diversity in range of candidates, etc.
107.Interpretation and exceptions
Collapse -Part 8 Prohibited conduct: ancillary
108.Relationships that have ended
109.Liability of employers and principals
110.Liability of employees and agents
111.Instructing, causing or inducing contraventions
Collapse -Part 9 Enforcement
Chapter 1 Introductory
Chapter 2 Civil courts
Chapter 3 Employment tribunals
121.Armed forces cases
122.References by court to tribunal, etc.
125.Remedies: national security
126.Remedies: occupational pension schemes
Chapter 4 Equality of terms
128.References by court to tribunal, etc.
130.Section 129: supplementary
131.Assessment of whether work is of equal value
132.Remedies in non-pensions cases
133.Remedies in pensions cases
134.Remedies in claims for arrears brought by pensioner members
Chapter 5 Miscellaneous
136.Burden of proof
138.Obtaining information, etc.
139A. Equal pay audits
140.Conduct giving rise to separate proceedings
140A.Extension of time limits because of mediation in certain cross-border disputes
140AA.Extension of time limits because of alternative dispute resolution in certain cross border or domestic contractual disputes
140B.Extension of time limits to facilitate conciliation before institution of proceedings
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Contracts and other agreements
143.Removal or modification of unenforceable terms
Collective agreements and rules of undertakings
145.Void and unenforceable terms
146.Declaration in respect of void term, etc.
147.Meaning of “qualifying settlement agreement”
Collapse -Part 11 Advancement of equality
Chapter 1 Public sector equality duty
149.Public sector equality duty
150.Public authorities and public functions
151.Power to specify public authorities
152.Power to specify public authorities: consultation and consent
153.Power to impose specific duties
154.Power to impose specific duties: cross-border authorities
155.Power to impose specific duties: supplementary
Chapter 2 Positive action
158.Positive action: general
159.Positive action: recruitment and promotion
Collapse -Part 12 Disabled persons: transport
Chapter 1 Taxis, etc.
160.Taxi accessibility regulations
161.Control of numbers of licensed taxis: exception
162.Designated transport facilities
163.Taxi licence conditional on compliance with taxi accessibility regulations
164.Exemption from taxi accessibility regulations
165.Passengers in wheelchairs
166.Passengers in wheelchairs: exemption certificates
167.Lists of wheelchair-accessible vehicles
168.Assistance dogs in taxis
169.Assistance dogs in taxis: exemption certificates
170.Assistance dogs in private hire vehicles
171.Assistance dogs in private hire vehicles: exemption certificates
Chapter 2 Public service vehicles
174.PSV accessibility regulations
175.Offence of contravening PSV accessibility regulations
179.Reviews and appeals
CHAPTER 2A Bus services
181A.Information for bus passengers
Chapter 3 Rail vehicles
182.Rail vehicle accessibility regulations
183.Exemptions from rail vehicle accessibility regulations
184.Procedure for making exemption orders
185.Annual report on exemption orders
186.Rail vehicle accessibility: compliance
Chapter 4 Supplementary
Collapse -Part 13 Disability: miscellaneous
190.Improvements to let dwelling houses
Collapse -Part 14 General exceptions
Collapse -Part 15 Family property
198.Abolition of husband's duty to maintain wife
199.Abolition of presumption of advancement
200.Amendment of Married Women's Property Act 1964
201.Civil partners: housekeeping allowance
Collapse -Part 16 General and miscellaneous
202.Civil partnerships on religious premises
206.Information society services
207.Exercise of power
208.Ministers of the Crown, etc.
209.The Welsh Ministers
210.The Scottish Ministers
211.Amendments, repeals and revocations
213.References to maternity leave, etc.
214.Index of defined expressions
Expand +SCHEDULE 1Disability: supplementary provision
Expand +SCHEDULE 2Services and public functions: reasonable adjustments
Expand +SCHEDULE 3Services and public functions: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 4Premises: reasonable adjustments
Expand +SCHEDULE 5Premises: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 6Office-holders: excluded offices
Expand +SCHEDULE 7Equality of terms: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 8Work: reasonable adjustments
Expand +SCHEDULE 9Work: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 10Accessibility for disabled pupils
Expand +SCHEDULE 11Schools: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 12Further and higher education exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 13Education: reasonable adjustments
Expand +SCHEDULE 14Educational charities and endowments
Expand +SCHEDULE 15Associations: reasonable adjustments
Expand +SCHEDULE 16Associations: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 17Disabled pupils: enforcement
Expand +SCHEDULE 18Public sector equality duty: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 19Public authorities
Expand +SCHEDULE 20
Expand +SCHEDULE 21Reasonable adjustments: supplementary
Expand +SCHEDULE 22Statutory provisions
Expand +SCHEDULE 23General exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 24Harmonisation: exceptions
Expand +SCHEDULE 25Information society services
Expand +SCHEDULE 26Amendments
Expand +SCHEDULE 27Repeals and revocations
Expand +SCHEDULE 28Index of defined expressions
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